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65% of Mental Health Professionals agree:

Poor Communication is the #1 Reason Couples Split Up

Take This FREE 2-minute Quiz

To know which of the 5 Communication Zones you're currently in,

and the perfect next steps to get closer to your partner

The Couples Communication Quiz:

Couples Communication Quiz

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Step 1 of 12

8%

While taking this quiz, think about someone you're in a relationship with. That person is your:*

Romantic partner

Other loved one

Colleague

When we have something to talk about, we:*

Make sure to find a good time when we're both available and ready to talk

Try to find a good time to talk, but we're both usually too tired, or there's not enough time

Talk at the worst possible time, even though we know we should wait

Don't even think about setting aside time at all

When one of us tells their partner they have something they want to talk about, the other one:*

Never knows what it's about ahead of time

Has a vague idea of what it's about

Often knows the subject, but not the goal in talking about it

Always gets a clear heads-up on the subject and the goal of the conversation

When one of us is talking, the other one:*

Listens patiently until the first person is done talking

Listens up to a point and then jumps in too soon

Frequently interrupts and doesn't listen

Isn't willing to listen at all

When we talk together:*

It often escalates into a painful verbal fight

One or both of us feels tense, threatened, or defensive

On good days we can stay pretty calm

We both stay calm and relaxed even on hard days

When we're talking to each other:*

We give each other our full attention, without any screens, devices, or distractions

Screens or other distractions are near us but we usually don't look

One or both of us is sometimes looking at a screen, or something else, during the conversation

One or both of us is looking at a screen, or something other than each other, most of the time

When we talk about something we don't agree on at first, we:*

Don't get anywhere and keep going over the same old points

Might hear one or two new points but nothing changes

End up feeling like we've begun to make some good progress as a team

Come to understand each other, and figure out how to honor each other's positions

When one of us wants to ask the other to do something a different way:*

Both of us use kind, caring words

One or both of us sounds irritable, but it's not too bad

One or both of us usually says at least one hurtful comment

One or both of us criticizes or verbally attacks the other person regularly

When we talk together we end up feeling:*

Farther apart than before we started

Just as distant as we did at the start

Glad we talked, but not any closer to each other

Even closer together

When we think about each other, we:*

Both notice what we we're grateful for and appreciate about each other, and let each other know regularly

Sometimes notice what we we're grateful for and appreciate about each other, and say it occasionally

Don't notice positive things about each other, but say something nice when we know we're supposed to

Can't think of anything positive about each other at this time

These days, in our best conversations:*

We're just trying to get on the same page about the basics

We can talk about basics pretty well, but nothing too personal or sensitive

We can talk about personal issues, but not about future dreams

We're able to dream about our future plans and goals together

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quiz results with your Communication Zone score
tailored tips and tools for your relationship
your free Calm & Connected Communication & Support guide

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