Great job being curious & motivated about your relationship

Your relationship can get there, with some loving attention.

In times of stress you and your partner are really struggling to stay calm and just listen to each other with patience. It's frustrating and maybe even scary - when most conversations don't go well you're not sure how to even talk to each other.

• You don't often let each other know what you want to talk about, and often surprise, startle, or irritate each other.
• It's hard for the two of you to stay calm, listen to each other, and offer each other support. Instead you often find yourselves fighting yet again.
• You don't often feel seen, heard, and understood. Too often you don't feel you're getting your point across, and most of the time you talk you just misunderstand each other.

What's great is that you're aware that you have challenges, and you're curious about and interested in making some positive changes. That's priceless! Think about the positives between you, and all the reasons you have for working together to improve your relationship. You can get there!

As you'll see when you read (to download see below, and in your email) the guide to having "Calm & Focused Conversations," you'll learn about the importance of picking one topic at a time to discuss.

Since listening to each other is a challenge, there's a sensible first step you can take together.

Your first focus should be on creating safety and calm as much as possible.

Start with a request (by following the steps in the guide) about both of you reading the guide so that you're on the same page together.

Then set up your very first conversation with one focus on the importance of always making time to calm down and relax before you talk in the future. Investing the time to relax will pay itself back with dividends when you find you're able to talk without the frustrating waste of time of fights and misunderstandings.

Then your second conversation's one focus could be on other ways you plan to set up safe conversations together. Coming to an agreement will set you on the path as a team to build towards talking more easily and openly, and even dreaming together before you know it.

Download the guide by clicking on the button at the bottom of the page. By now it should also be waiting for you in your email inbox.

This guide is full of simple and helpful tips to be sure your conversations are safe and calm, and to maximize your chances of meeting your communication goals, and eventually feeling seen, heard, understood, and connected.

Really pay attention to the little section on Page 4 called "Almost Meeting time." It's easy to overlook but it's super powerful and will help a lot. Definitely take time to calm down and relax before your conversation!

Carefully read the whole guide to be sure you're aware of all the helpful tips for successful conversations. Once you're talking, any time if you start to feel stress or tension while talking, take a break to relax and calm down before you continue. Pause as soon as you feel tension building. Those few minutes are a priceless pause for returning to safe, calm communication.