0: Great job being curious and motivated about your relationship.
I'm excited to help you and your partner, or any loved one,
get closer and more connected by understanding which of the five
Communication Zones you're currently in,
you'll know what you need to do next to improve your communication so you can
stop struggling, talk about anything and grow close and connected.
1: You and your partner are currently in the Accessible Communication
Zone.
This means that open communication is often accessible to you when
things are going well. In the Accessible Communication Zone,
more often than not, you can have good conversations.
You can talk respectfully and take the time to set up a good talk.
You can talk about many subjects when life is going well,
but stress makes it more challenging.
Talking about your dreams and big goals for your relationship feels just
out of reach. You can see what's possible and really want to reach for it.
0: Your relationship can get closer and more connected with some clarity
on just what it takes to consistently see here,
understand and support each other,
so you can move up to the Open Communication Zone.
1: There are five Communications Zones in all,
ranging from Closed to Open,
and you can move up towards the Open Zone with safety and the right
skills and structure. Now you'll hear about your Zone again,
and how it fits with the others. In the Closed Zone,
communication between the two of you doesn't feel safe,
and you're easily startled, or might feel threatened by attempts to talk.
You're struggling, and you feel distant from each other. In the Guarded Zone,
you're able to talk sometimes under the best circumstances,
but you close up quickly under stress.
You still feel unsafe a lot, and your struggles are keeping you disconnected.
In the Revolving Zone you're likely cycling between feeling safe
and unsafe, depending on the situation at that moment.
You feel hopeful at times when you talk well together,
and worried at other times when your communication closes back
up. In the Accessible Zone,
you're likely to feel calm most of the time when you want to talk,
and you're confident you can talk through the everyday discussions for the most
part. You want to grow closer and you know it's possible.
In the Open Zone you feel relaxed and welcoming when you want to talk.
Most of your conversations go pretty smoothly, and talking is enjoyable.
You're eager to take your relationship deeper,
to feel truly close and connected.
Moving beyond these five zones, to optimal communication,
is where you'd like to go in your relationship.
When you know how to communicate really well,
you can dive deeper and explore the relationship and lives you
dreamed of having together.
0: I'm Dr. Sarah Rattray,
leading Couples Psychologist and Founder & CEO of the Couples
Communication Institute,
where it's our mission to help you move up from those closed,
struggling zones,
to grow the confidence to communicate and thrive together,
and then beyond to the kind of closeness and connection that
few couples are able to achieve.
1: Since your relationship is currently in the Accessible Zone,
your priority now is becoming more of a team in working
together to take your relationship further.
You know how great you feel when your partner lets you know they really see,
they really get something essential and awesome about you.
They pay you a compliment or let you know they really cherish something
about you, that you also value about yourself.
Here's an easy tip in two steps I want to share with you,
that's a powerful way to keep opening up communication and
moving towards feeling closer and more connected.
0: Step One: Every day,
make a point of looking for something in the present,
or remembering something from the past, that you really appreciate,
respect, or are grateful for about your partner,
and that's an example of them being their best self.
Then Step Two: Be sure to tell your partner every day,
with details, what you appreciate, admire, or cherish about them.
1: Check the emails you'll be receiving over the next few days for more
information and personalized next steps for your current
Communication Zone. From the link in your email, download your FREE
Calm and Connected Communication & Support Guide to help to help you to move upwards
towards, and stay in, the more Open zones, and get close
and connected with your partner.
The first email from the Couples Communication Institute will be in your inbox,
so download your guide from there. To keep moving your relationship
forward to the next level, so you can connect and get closer,
be sure to register for the next FREE WEBINAR at the link below on this page.
I'll see you on the other side,
as you work to get close and connected with your partner.