0: Great job being curious and motivated about your relationship.
I'm excited to help you and your partner, or any loved one,
get closer and more connected by understanding which of the five
Communication Zones you're currently in,
you'll know what you need to do next to improve your communication so you can
stop struggling, talk about anything and grow close and connected.
1: You and your partner are currently in the Open Communication Zone.
This means that you usually have safe, clear conversations,
and can rely on each other to come together and talk openly.
In the Open Communication Zone,
together you're respectful and kind. You usually feel seen,
heard, and understood by each other,
and often are able to give each other your support.
You're often able to set up conversations well in advance and talking
can feel enjoyable.
You have a good set of skills and habits and have the potential for
deeper, richer conversations,
exploring your dreams and relationship goals.
0: When you learn exactly what it is you're already doing so well,
and the fine points of great communication,
you can stay in the Open communication more reliably and
even have that enviable optimal communication,
so you can dream and grow truly close and
connected.
1: There are five Communications Zones in all,
ranging from Closed to Open,
and you can move up towards the Open Zone with safety and the right
skills and structure. Now you'll hear about your Zone again,
and how it fits with the others. In the Closed Zone,
communication between the two of you doesn't feel safe,
and you're easily startled, or might feel threatened by attempts to talk.
You're struggling, and you feel distant from each other. In the Guarded Zone,
you're able to talk sometimes under the best circumstances,
but you close up quickly under stress.
You still feel unsafe a lot, and your struggles are keeping you disconnected.
In the Revolving Zone you're likely cycling between feeling safe
and unsafe, depending on the situation at that moment.
You feel hopeful at times when you talk well together,
and worried at other times when your communication closes back
up. In the Accessible Zone,
you're likely to feel calm most of the time when you want to talk,
and you're confident you can talk through the everyday discussions for the most
part. You want to grow closer and you know it's possible.
In the Open Zone you feel relaxed and welcoming when you want to talk.
Most of your conversations go pretty smoothly, and talking is enjoyable.
You're eager to take your relationship deeper,
to feel truly close and connected.
Moving beyond these five zones, to optimal communication,
is where you'd like to go in your relationship.
When you know how to communicate really well,
you can dive deeper and explore the relationship and lives you
dreamed of having together.
0: I'm Dr. Sarah Salzman,
leading Couples Psychologist and Founder & CEO of the Couples
Communication Institute,
where it's our mission to help you move up from those closed,
struggling zones,
to grow the confidence to communicate and thrive together,
and then beyond to the kind of closeness and connection that
few couples are able to achieve.
1: Since your relationship is currently in the Open Zone,
your priority right now is making sure you know exactly what
you're doing so well, so you can keep it going,
opening up conversations about how you'd each like to take your relationship
further.
You know how great you feel when your partner lets you know they feel close to
you and they want to feel even closer?
Here's a beautiful tip in two steps I want to share with you,
that's a powerful way to move towards creating the
relationship you always wished you had. Step One: Every day,
make a point of looking for something in the present with your partner,
or remembering something from the past,
that's an example of the kind of closeness and connection you love.
Then Step Two: Be sure to tell your partner every day,
with details, what you appreciate, admire, or cherish about them,
that helps you feel close and connected,
and that you want more of in the future.
1: Check the emails you'll be receiving over the next few days for more
information and personalized next steps for your current
Communication Zone. From the link in your email,
download your FREE
Calm and Connected Communication & Support Guide to help
you to move upwards towards, and stay in, the more Open zones,
and get close and connected with your partner.
The first email from the Couples Communication Institute will be in your inbox,
so download your guide from there. To keep moving your relationship
forward to the next level so you can connect and get closer,
be sure to register for the next FREE WEBINAR at the link below on this page.
I'll see you on the other side,
as you work to get close and connected with your partner.