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Couples Communication QuizCC1 - Main

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Version 2021-11-24
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While taking this quiz, think about someone you're in a relationship with. That person is your:
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Romantic partner
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Other loved one
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Colleague
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Not thinking about anyone in particular
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For the rest of the questions, think of yourself and how you have communicated in recent important relationships
It is a long established fact that a reader will be distracted by the
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When we're talking to each other:
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We give each other our full attention, without any screens, devices, or distractions
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Screens or other distractions are near us but we usually don't look
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One or both of us is sometimes looking at a screen, or something else, during the conversation
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One or both of us is looking at a screen, or something other than each other, most of the time
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When we talk together:
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It often escalates into a painful verbal fight
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One or both of us feels tense, threatened, or defensive
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On good days we can stay pretty calm
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We both stay calm and relaxed even on hard days
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When we have something to talk about, we:
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Make sure to find a good time when we're both available and ready to talk
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Try to find a good time to talk, but we're both usually too tired, or there's not enough time
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Talk at the worst possible time, even though we know we should wait
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Don't even think about setting aside time at all
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When one of us tells their partner they have something they want to talk about, the other one:
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Never knows what it's about ahead of time
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Has a vague idea of what it's about
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Often knows the subject, but not the goal in talking about it
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Always gets a clear heads-up on the subject and the goal of the conversation
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When one of us is talking, the other one:
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Listens patiently until the first person is done talking
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Listens up to a point and then jumps in too soon
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Frequently interrupts and doesn't listen
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Isn't willing to listen at all
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When we talk about something we don't agree on at first, we:
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Don't get anywhere and keep going over the same old points
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Might hear one or two new points but nothing changes
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End up feeling like we've begun to make some good progress as a team
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Come to understand each other, and figure out how to honor each other's positions
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When one of us wants to ask the other to do something a different way, most often:
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Both of us use kind, caring words
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One or both of us sounds irritable, but it's not too bad
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One or both of us usually says at least one hurtful comment
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One or both of us criticizes or verbally attacks the other person regularly
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When we talk together we end up feeling:
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Farther apart than before we started
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Just as distant as we did at the start
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Glad we talked, but not any closer to each other
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Even closer together
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When we think about each other, we:
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Both notice what we we're grateful for and appreciate about each other, and let each other know regularly
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Sometimes notice what we we're grateful for and appreciate about each other, and say it occasionally
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Don't notice positive things about each other, but say something nice when we know we're supposed to
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Can't think of anything positive about each other at this time
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These days, in our best conversations:
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We're just trying to get on the same page about the basics
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We can talk about basics pretty well, but nothing too personal or sensitive
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We can talk about personal issues, but not about future dreams
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We're able to dream about our future plans and goals together
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