Would you say that your partner is the most important person in your life besides maybe your own self and your kids?
Would you say that they are your highest priority, but the amount of time that you actually spend with them tells a different story?
There is simply no substitute for spending time with your partner. You partner is not a houseplant that you can just check on every once in a while, to keep them thriving. Your relationship is something you need to lovingly tend to every day by spending quality time with your partner. That’s what a relationship is really all about!
So many of us immediately think “We’re so busy as it is. We just don’t have time to spend together!” However, that thinking is not the truth. You do have time, but you have to consciously set some aside for your partner.
Think of it this way: If your partner had six months left to live, you know you would find time every day to spend connecting with them.
Carve time out with your partner as if your life depended on it. You find time to spend on the kids, work, chores, and other tasks. You can also find time to spend with the most important person in your life.
How to Make Time for Your Partner
Step One: Set aside time to talk.
Get out your calendars and pick a time during the day when you could talk for 15, 20, or 30 minutes, quietly connecting, talking about your feelings, your thoughts, your days, and your dreams.
Make that time that you’ve set aside sacred. Make those times together like appointments and keep them like appointments. (If you can make time for a dental appointment, you can make time to talk to your partner.)
There’s nothing more important than spending time with each other. It’s the secret key to success in a relationship.
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Hi there I'm Dr Sarah Rattray
For over 30 years I've helped couples get closer and more connected by strengthening your communication. I'm known for my wise, grounded, caring energy, and for providing clear, practical steps you can take right away to improve the way you talk with each other.
Step Two: Plan a date night
While you have your calendars out, make some date nights with each other. These dates nights are for talking, but also for having fun!
When life gets busy and we push our relationship to the back burner, it’s easy to forget how to have fun together, or to even remember that relationships have the potential to be a lot of fun and very, very fulfilling. Plan a night to go to dinner, sit at home and watch a movie, or to go out and do something you’ve never done before. It doesn’t have to be expensive or fancy, it just has to be time carved out for just the two of you to enjoy together.
What if we fight?
I’ve talked to lots of couples who resist spending time together because they feel that every time they DO spend time alone, they wind up fighting and angry. They don’t know how to have a calm conversation. If you have this worry, you’re not alone!
If you find that you’re avoiding spending time together because you’re afraid you’re going to fight, if you don’t know how to have a calm conversation, try my free video series From Conflict to Communication. In this series, I’ll lay out lots of helpful tips and strategies to stop fighting, to calm down, and learn to have great conversations.
With those tools, you’ll learn how to enjoy your time together again and find that you’ll WANT to make time to spend together!
Interested in more tips on mastering your relationship?
Check out my webinar, Connection and Closeness, this September 25th-28th.